Homeschool Friday - How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger

By: Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis

Publication: December 15, 2002 by Free Spirit Publishing

128 pages

Genre: Children, Parenting, Nonfiction, Emotion, Self-Help, Mental Health

Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate link. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Goodreads description--Anger is a part of life. We can’t avoid it, we shouldn’t stuff it, and we can’t make it go away.

Kids need help learning how to manage their anger. This book speaks directly to them and offers strategies they can start using immediately.

Blending solid information and sound advice with jokes and funny cartoons, it guides kids to understand that anger is normal and can be expressed in many ways—some healthy, some not.

It teaches them how to recognize anger in themselves and others, how to handle situations and emotions (loneliness, guilt, frustration, fear) that lead to or mask anger, and how to deal with the anger they feel.

Young readers learn that violence is not acceptable and there are better, safer, more positive ways to resolve conflicts.

They also discover what to do when people around them are angry, how to get help, and how to locate other resources (books, hotlines, school groups) when they need more support.

How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger was not really what I thought it was going to be. I was expecting a fictional story for some reason. That might be because it was so long between requesting this book and reading it that I forgot what it was supposed to be about. Also, I've tried to read quite a lot of fictional books about anger to my children--specifically my child who struggles with his emotions.

I quickly realized that this was more of an instructional manual for kids on how to help them with their anger. I highlighted a ton. I appreciated that actionable things were included. Anyone reading this book (adult or child) will be able to find something they can put into practice to help. The words a person uses to talk to themselves matter as much or more than words said to them by others. I love that this was addressed. I know my child can get frustrated with himself and gear towards the negative with his self-talk. Children are encouraged to find an adult they can talk to at certain times. The author tells them to find someone they can trust, but also, if they don't get the help they need from that person (for whatever reason), then find someone else to talk to. Not giving up after the first person doesn't help is so important. I like the positive messages given to kids: "you are stronger than your anger," and "you have the power to overcome your anger!"

Favorite quotes:

-Anger can stay with you for a very, very, very long time. This may be hard to believe, but some of the adults you know and talk to every day are still angry about stuff that happened when they were kids. Because they never dealt with their anger, it just stuck around like a bad smell. You probably don't want this to happen to you.

-Sure, other people may sometimes try to make you mad on purpose. But often they're just being themselves, or kidding around, or making mistakes. They may not even know they're angering you.

-Did you know that even just making an angry face may make you feel mad? ... So angry face, angry thoughts, and angry words often lead to more angry feelings. It's that simple.

-But you can't "smoosh" anger. What happens when you do? The anger won't stay down for long.

-That's the thing about angry or rude texts, emails, instant messages, and handwritten notes: you can't undo "send." Just remember: what goes on-screen stays on-screen. Forever.

-It's true that anger can really make you mad. But anger is never an excuse for being mean.

-Angry behavior doesn't solve problems. Most times, it makes things worse.

I also appreciate the resources (extra books to help on this topic) listed at the end for the parents. I will be checking out multiple of the books listed.

I haven't tried reading this book to my child or letting him read it himself, but I am trying to do the best job I possibly can with modeling the behavior I want to see. I would like to either read this to him or have him read it one day on his own. But from a parent perspective, I give How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger 5 Stars. Have you or your child read How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Voices Are Not for Yelling

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

Voices Are Not for Yelling

By: Elizabeth Verdick

Illustrated By: Marieka Heinlen

Publication: March 24, 2015 by Free Spirit Publishing

40 pages

Genre: Children's, Picture Books, Manners, Parenting

Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Description--As parents and teachers know, yelling comes naturally to children. This friendly, encouraging book, geared to preschool and primary children, introduces and reinforces where and when to use an “indoor voice” or an “outdoor voice.” In classic Best Behavior style the author tells young readers, “Your voice is a powerful tool. How you use it is up to you.” Vivid illustrations show the times and places for an indoor voice, the ways people ask us to quiet our voices, and times when yelling might occur. “What happens if you’re mad or frustrated or really, really excited? Your voice gets louder and LOUDER.” But yelling hurts people’s ears and feelings. Children learn that they can quiet their voice and use their words to talk about a problem. “Think before you yell, and use your words well!” Includes a special section for parents and caregivers with activities and discussion starters.

The Best Behavior series uses simple words and delightful full-color illustrations to guide children to choose peaceful, positive behaviors. Select titles are available in two a durable board book for ages baby–preschool, and a longer, more in-depth paperback for ages 4–7. Kids, parents, and teach(more...)

Voices Are Not for Yelling starts off contrasting an inside voice which is quiet with an outside voice, which is loud. It offers up some reasons why one might want to use their outside voice while inside, such as excitement, anger, and when you really want to be heard. Then it tells us that voices aren't for yelling and the reasons why: 1) yelling hurts our ears and 2) yelling hurts our feelings. It tells the child that using your inside voice helps people to hear your words and not your yelling. Then the book goes through a series of steps to help you calm your voice: breathing slowly and deeply until your body calms down. Then it's time to use your words to state what you need or want. The adult in the book thanks the child for using their words and reassures the child that she's there to listen. The book then offers some good things we can use our voices for: laughing, talking, helping, and saying "I love you." The book ends with some additional tips and information for parents.

Yelling is a natural response to anger, excitement, and a desire to be heard, as the book mentions. All kids can easily find themselves yelling. We have at least one child in our house who struggles with emotional regulation and reacts with yelling when things become overwhelming to them. Books like this are great options to bring in information to the child in a way that doesn't feel like an attack on them or their character. But don't think if you have a child who struggles with regulating emotions, simply reading a book to them about not yelling is going to solve your problem. It's a tool to be used, not a solution.

Voices Are Not for Yelling is a great book, especially for younger kids. Any child who might struggle with yelling could benefit from this book as the way the book is laid out focuses on the benefits of not yelling and using one's voice properly. But this isn't a solution if you have a problem with yelling in your house. Voices Are Not for Yelling gets 4 Stars. Have you or your child read Voices Are Not for Yelling? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Noses Are Not for Picking

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

Noses Are Not for Picking

By: Elizabeth Verdick

Illustrated By: Marieka Heinlen

Publication: September 12, 2014 by Free Spirit Publishing

24 pages

Genre: Children's, Picture Books, Manners, Parenting

Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Description--We’ve all seen it—the nose-picking habit starts as early as the toddler years, and no child is the exception. Young children pick their noses for a variety of reasons, from colds to allergies to curiosity or boredom. This board book for toddlers and preschoolers is the answer to the age-old question “How can I get my child not to pick, especially not in public?”

With gentle humor and kid-friendly support, this board book for toddlers and preschoolers helps guide little ones away from nose picking toward healthier habits, like using a tissue and washing their hands. Catchy words help children remember what to do; vibrant full-color illustrations bring the words to life. Throughout, the positive message shines through: noses are for breathing, sniffing, smelling . . . but not for picking!

Noses Are Not for Picking does have a rhyming scheme. The book starts with asking the question what are noses for. And a few options are given--breathing and smelling. Then instruction was given that noses are not for picking and fingers are not for licking. It goes on to give instructions for getting a tissue just in case the child did pick their noses because germs can make you sick. That's smart since kids will go ahead and pick their noses even if instructed not to. The phrase "wipe, toss, wash, dry" is repeated. Repetition helps solidify concepts for the child's brain. 

This is a quick and simple book. It spends more time talking about using a tissue for different tissue needs than focusing on simply not picking. The content is for younger children--probably under the age of four. 

Noses Are Not for Picking gets 3.5 Stars. Have you or your child read Noses Are Not for Picking? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Have Courage

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

Have Courage!

By: Cheri J. Meiners

Illustrated By: Elizabeth Allen

Publication: May 21, 2014 by Free Spirit Publishing

40 pages

Genre: Children's, Picture Books, Manners, Parenting

Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Description--Counsels children how to develop the assertiveness skills that will help them do what they believe is right, sharing advice for distinguishing between helpful and harmful things that others say while taking reasonable risks and speaking out.

Have Courage starts by telling children that even though they are small they can still stand tall. And then there's a short definition of courage: doing what's right even when it's hard or the child feels afraid. A contrast is shown between needing courage to say yes to something (like a vaccination) or needing courage to say no to something (like climbing up a slide). The author uses the term "dare" in a positive way. Children often want to follow through on dares. So I think this is a smart way to show courage. Speaking up for oneself to show what one likes and daring to be oneself. Sometimes courage is being brave to stand up in front of the classroom to share something. When a child speaks up to talk to a child they don't know, the end result could be making a new friend. And bravery can rub off on others. Focusing on what we want instead of what we're afraid of helps us not be held back by fear and miss out on experiences and adventures. Another definition of courage is given: doing important things that one didn't know they could do. And then a couple more reasons for why having courage is helpful.

Have Courage has a section for parents to reinforce the ideas found in the book, some questions to ask to provoke thinking, and even some activities and games to do with kids to help them build courage.

The illustrations perfectly matched the words so that the ideas are presented in a visual form as great examples that kids can relate to.

Have Courage is a great option for building up your child's character. These are the types of books that I really seek out. The book is written for children probably younger than 4, but all children can benefit from the same ideas. Have Courage gets 4.5 Stars. Have you or your child read Have Courage? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Hands Are Not for Hitting

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

Hands Are Not for Hitting

By: Martine Agassi

Illustrated By: Marieka Heinlen

Publication: April 1, 2009 by Free Spirit Publishing

24 pages

Genre: Children's, Picture Books, Manners, Parenting

Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Description--Little ones learn that hitting is never okay, hands can do many good things, and everyone is capable of positive, loving actions. Includes tips for parents and caregivers.

This series of books always starts with the positive. Hands are wonderful. And they come in all different shapes and sizes. Hands can do all kinds of amazing things. Waving is mentioned, but the page shows hands making symbols or ASL signs ("I love you" and "okay"), crossing fingers, shadow puppets, holding maracas, and even an animal paw. Hands are not for hitting is introduced early. And then some alternate uses for hands are listed: saying hello, drawing, playing, the itsy bitsy spider, and building. Repetition: hands are not for hitting. And then more proper uses of hands are listed: eating and drinking, dressing and undressing, keeping safe, taking care, and brushing teeth. Again: hands are not for hitting. Even more proper uses: helping, hugging, and waving goodbye.

The repetition is important for children. I do wish that addressing some of the reasons why a child might feel compelled to use their hands for hitting had been included and discussed.

This book was dual language, meaning that the English words were on the page, followed by the Spanish interpretation. This isn't super important for me. I am teaching my kids English only right now. Although I do plan for them to learn a second language at some point. I know enough Spanish to be able to read in Spanish if necessary--although my pronunciation probably needs some work. But if having this included is meaningful to you, then I thought you should know.

Hands Are Not for Hitting is a good option for very young kids. I liked the repetition of the concept, but I do wish some of the emotions behind wanting to hit were addressed. My children are a little old for this book, but the concept is timeless. Hands Are Not for Hitting gets 4 Stars. Have you or your child read Hands Are Not for Hitting? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Cookies

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review/review for each.

Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons

By: Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Illustrated By: Jane Dyer

Publication: May 2, 2006 by HarperCollins

40 pages

Genre: Children, Picture Book, Parenting, Education

Source: Personal Library

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Description--Everyone knows cookies taste good, but these cookies also have something good to say. Open this delectable book to any page and you will find out something about life.

Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons is a new kind of dictionary, one that defines mysteries such as "fair" and "unfair" and what it really means to "cooperate."

The book is by turns clever, honest, inspirational, and whimsical. Go ahead, take a bite!

I've been doing a "unit study" on manners in our homeschool. Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons was recommended (although I can't remember where) to me. And my husband purchased it for me for Christmas. Guys! I was so impressed by this book. It packs such a punch in such a small package. This book tackles so many character traits, qualities, and good lessons in a way that children can easily understand. And hey, who doesn't want to read all about cookies? We've got: cooperate, patient, proud, modest, respect, trustworthy, fair, unfair, compassionate, greedy. generous, pessimistic, optimistic, polite, honest, courageous, envy, loyal, open-minded, regret, content, and wise. All of these things are defined using situations that involve cookies. For example: 

-Cooperate means, "How about you add the chips while I stir?

and 

-Respect means offering the very first cookie to your grandmother.

The last page of the book has a cookie recipe. We haven't tried it yet. But it's a wonderful opportunity to put some of these lessons into practice: take turns and cooperate, wait patiently for them to bake, offer the first cookie to the person most deserving of our respect, everyone gets the same number of cookies, sharing our cookies with others, viewing the amount we have as enough, being honest about how many cookies we've had, and not envying someone else's cookie that might look better than the ones we have, and we're not going to eat more than we should. 

I highly recommend Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons. You don't even have to be intentionally teaching your children about manners. Everyone needs to learn these lessons. And we can all relate to cookies, I think. Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons gets 5 Stars. Have you read Cookies: Bite-Size Life Lessons? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Teeth Are Not for Biting

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review for each.

Teeth Are Not for Biting

By: Elizabeth Verdick

Illustrated By: Marieka Heinlen

Publication: April 15, 2003 by Free Spirit Publishing

24 pages

Genre: Children's Literature, Picture Books, Parenting

( Goodreads | Amazon )

Goodreads description--“Crunch crunch crunch. Teeth are strong and sharp. Crunch crunch crunch. Teeth can help you chew. But teeth are not for biting. Ouch! Biting hurts.” Sooner or later, almost all young children will bite someone—a friend, a parent, a sibling. This upbeat, colorful, virtually indestructible book helps prevent biting and teaches positive alternatives. Teeth Are Not for Biting gives reasons why children might want to bite. Little mouths feel sore when new teeth come in; sometimes kids bite when they’re hungry, tired, cranky, frustrated, angry, bored, distressed, or seeking attention. Author Elizabeth Verdick suggests positive things children can do instead of chew a chewy toy, drink a cold drink, get a hug, tell a grown-up. This book also includes helpful tips for parents and caregivers. Best Behavior® Series Simple words and lively full-color illustrations guide children to choose positive behaviors.

We have been studying manners in our homeschool. So when I saw Teeth Are Not for Biting for review, I grabbed it. My older children don't have any issues with biting, but occasionally my youngest will bite. It isn't often, but when he does it he goes all in. The content in Teeth Are Not for Biting is best suited for smaller children (under the age of 4).

I liked how the book starts off with how teeth are strong and sharp and used for eating. This establishes that teeth are good and used for a purpose. Then the title phrase is used in addition to the phrase "Ouch! Biting hurts." This phrase is used repetitively throughout the book to drive home this point. Teeth are again presented in a positive light for the child by telling the child that they will have more teeth as they grow. Children always want to be bigger than they are, so this gives them something to look forward to. Instead of first addressing that children feel angry and choose to bite, I like that the idea of the child's mouth hurting when new teeth are coming in. This offers up the idea that biting might be comforting to the child and not something done out of bad behavior. But then the title phrase and subsequent line is repeated. Suggestion are offered on how the child might soothe their mouths without biting others. After this the behavior issue is addressed that biting might be used when a child feels sad or angry, etc. The title phrase is repeated and the suggestions on what to do instead are again offered. And then last of all, the scenario is presented that maybe another child bites you and how to handle that. Finally, teeth are presented as being for the purpose of smiling--wrapping things up with another positive.

All in all, I think Teeth Are Not for Biting gets 4 Stars. Have you or your child read Teeth Are Not for Biting? What did you think? Let me know!

Homeschool Friday - Manners Time

Homeschool Friday is a feature here at Somewhere Only We Know that showcases books my family reads during homeschool and provides a mini-review for each.

Manners Time

By: Elizabeth Verdick

Illustrated By: Marieka Heinlen

Publication: August 1, 2009 by Free Spirit Publishing

24 pages

Genre: Children's Literature, Picture Books, Parenting

( Goodreads | Amazon )

Goodreads description--Manners start with a smile—then you add the words. There are polite words to use when you greet someone, ask for something, or (oops!) make a mistake. There’s even a nice way to say no. This book gives toddlers a head start on manners, setting the stage for social skills that will last a lifetime.Book Board BookPublication 8/1/2009 24Reading Age 4 and Up

We have been doing a "unit" study on manners in our homeschool. I'm not sure you can call it a unit study because we've been learning about manners all year long so far, and considering we still have much to improve upon, I think we'll keep right on trucking with our manners "study" until we see some improvement. So when I saw Manners Time for review, I grabbed it. 

The content seems best suited for smaller children. My youngest son is currently 4 years old, and I think he would benefit the most from this book. He already knows these concepts, but seeing them and hearing them in book form would hopefully help to solidify these in his mind. 

At the same time, the words are written in simple enough terms that my 7-year-old old who is reading more and more could easily read this book. And now that I think about it, I will probably make him do just that. 

The concepts are basic. Say hi. Look people in the eyes. Say please, thank you, and you're welcome. Say "I'm sorry. " Etc. I would add that I'm a little bit frustrated by equating "I forgive you" with "That's okay." On the one hand, I appreciate that the book encourages saying "I forgive you" instead of "That's okay" after someone else apologizes. That's something I've taught my kids. But I've taught my kids to say "I forgive you" instead of "that's okay" because it isn't "okay." If one of my children hits another one, it isn't "okay", but my other child can say "I forgive you" and that can be true. This is a little bit semantics, but I did want to note it. 

All in all, I think Manners Time gets 4 Stars. Have you or your child read Manners Time? What did you think? Let me know!

ADHD is Awesome - Review

ADHD is Awesome

By: Penn & Kim Holderness

Publication: April 30, 2024 by Harper Horizon

292 pages

Genre: Adult, Nonfiction, Parenting, Self-Help, Psychology, Mental Health

Source: Borrowed from the e-Library

( Goodreads | Amazon )

*Note: The above link to Amazon is an affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Goodreads description--Hi, friend! Welcome to the ADHD club.

You're here because, like me, you've been diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder—which, by the way, just might be the worst name for a condition ever—and you're trying to figure out how to make your life a little more manageable. Or because, like my wife, Kim, you love, teach, or work with someone who has ADHD, and you're trying to figure out how to best support them.

The world isn't built for ADHDers, and navigating it can wear us down. But we'll let you in on a little secret: having ADHD doesn't have to be a burden. It can actually be a superpower that propels you to creative heights and allows you to achieve more than you ever thought possible.

We want to give you a new perspective on ADHD, whether it's your own brain or a friend or family member's that you're trying to understand. We hope you come away with strategies you can employ to make things a little easier. (We also hope you laugh out loud, at least once or twice.)

Most of all, we want you to silence that voice that whispers that you're broken or a mess or a failure. None of that is true. You have ADHD—and that makes you awesome.

—Penn Holderness

My almost seven-year-old son has not been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but he has a lot of indications that he might have ADHD. He, more than my other two children, has prompted me to study and learn about child development. I just haven't figured out why he struggles so much in a few key areas. When his Pre-K4/MDO teacher suggested he might have ADHD at the age of 5, I immediately rejected the idea and thought he was just being a boy and boys having trouble sitting still and such. Well, fast forward about 2 years, and I've done a good bit more research, plus had more time to observe him, and I think she might be right. So much of  ADHD and what he's going through seems negative. When I came across a video by The Holderness Family about ADHD, Penn talked about the book they co-wrote called ADHD is Awesome. I immediately added it to my TBR list. Thankfully, the e-library got a copy of the audiobook, and I jumped on it to listen.

I am so thankful for Penn and Kim writing this book. Penn shares his experiences of having "a raging case of ADHD" with this book. Having an adult be able to describe what happens in his own brain helps me so much to relate to my son. I've never understood why he can never remember where his shoes are or why an item ceases to exist in his brain when he puts it down. How he can not remember so much has always baffled me. And I've often thought and even accused him of lying to me. And I can easily say that doing so has damaged our relationship. Penn's candor has provided me with some relief. Similar to the relief he felt after being diagnosed. I feel relief in learning more about and understanding more about things my child struggles with or deals with and how his brain works. I cried. Multiple times. From guilt over how I've handled things in the past, sadness over the struggles he has and why everything feels harder for him, hope for the future, and fear for the same. 

Penn and Kim do a wonderful job of presenting ADHD as it is. They don't sugarcoat things. Penn's struggles and the negative side of having ADHD are there in all its ugliness. But there are positives to having ADHD or being close to someone who has ADHD, and those positives are essentially never pointed out. They want everyone to know that it isn't all bad. And I can so appreciate that. As someone whose child is still very young, I feel like we have an uphill battle in front of us, but there is hope. They offer coping strategies. This was one of the most practically applicable books I've ever read on a similar topic (not ADHD specifically). I appreciate that so much. And I appreciate Penn and Kim Holderness for putting this book out there. I needed it. And I'm sure so many others do too.

The humor kept the topics light enough that this didn't feel like a heavy book even though I was quite emotional through portions of it. I suppose if it were heavy or dull the ADHD brain would abandon it, most likely. Penn definitely wrote with other ADHDers in mind. 

I also loved the discussion of the name ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The name truly doesn't describe the condition. And that contributes to the condition being so highly misunderstood. Addressing the misconceptions around ADHD was really helpful for me, and it helped me see that I had a lot of unfounded preconceived ideas of what ADHD is that are completely false. 

I can tell you that I would have had way too many quotes highlighted if I'd read this on my Kindle, but since I listened to the audiobook, I don't have any to share. I will tell you that I will 100% get a physical or digital copy of this book to have for myself to read again and probably even more than once. The audiobook version is wonderful being narrated by Penn and Kim directly. I don't know how much sidebar-type stuff they added to the physical book. It almost seemed like some things were added in their audio narration that wouldn't be in a physical copy, but I couldn't tell you that for sure without comparing the two. But their narration made the audiobook fun and easy to listen to (the goal). The only reason I want a physical copy for myself and not the audio version to own is that finding a passage for reference would be much easier in a physical copy. 

If you have ADHD or have a loved one with ADHD, I think you should definitely check out ADHD is Awesome by Penn and Kim Holderness. If nothing else, you can commiserate with someone who understands your struggles. ADHD is Awesome gets 5 Stars from me. Have you read (or listened to) ADHD is Awesome? What did you think? Let me know!

P.S. I have purchased a digital copy for Kindle since writing this review.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World - Review

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes

By: Kristen Welch

Publication: January 26th 2016 by Tyndale Momentum

272 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Self-Help, Christian

( Goodreads | Amazon | Book Depository )

*Note: The above links to Amazon and Book Depository are affiliate links. Affiliate links support giveaways for Somewhere Only We Know readers.

Goodreads description--"But everyone else has it." "If you loved me, you'd get it for me!" When you hear these comments from your kids, it can be tough not to cave. You love your children--don't you want them to be happy and to fit in?

Kristen Welch knows firsthand it's not that easy. In fact, she's found out that when you say yes too often, it's not only hard on your peace of mind and your wallet--it actually puts your kids at long-term risk. In Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, Kristen shares the ups and downs in her own family's journey of discovering why it's healthiest not to give their kids everything. Teaching them the difference between "want" and "need" is the first step in the right direction. With many practical tips and anecdotes, she shares how to say the ultimate yes as a family by bringing up faith-filled kids who will love God, serve others, and grow into hardworking, fulfilled, and successful adults.

It's never too late to raise grateful kids. Get ready to cultivate a spirit of genuine appreciation and create a Jesus-centered home in which your kids don't just say--but mean!--"thank you" for everything they have.

Man, parenting is HARD. I feel like I am constantly looking for resources and information to help me better myself and my parenting. Nothing quite puts the mirror in front of your face like having a mini version of yourself reflecting your good and bad traits and habits. And one thing I've noticed is that my kids have been lacking in grateful hearts and seem to have an abundance of entitlement. But man if this book didn't help me to see that I too have struggled with this, and all my kids have learned, they've learned from me. I have already made some adjustments in my life to see the good, to see the blessings, to appreciate the excess. And the very first day I put this into practice, my daughter commented to Husband that she wanted me to put her to bed that night because I was being so nice that day. Gratitude bleeds out into all areas.

I love Kristen Welch's heart. I feel such a kindredness in her. You can tell that she loves her kids and wants what's best for them. And sometimes what's best for them isn't what you always think on the surface level. I have always found myself appreciating a tough-love approach. I don't find it loving to enable people. I don't find it loving to treat them in ways that cause them to form bad habits. Thankfully Husband tends to balance me out pretty well, but it was nice to see that there are indeed benefits of tough love in some instances.

Kristen Welch talks about how difficult it can be to raise kids in a way that is counter-cultural. In our culture, everyone seems to be out for themselves. What can they get? What can they have? Who has more than me and how can I get the same or better than them? It's sad, really. And I loved her reasoning for wanting to swim against the current. Kristen's ideas on some parenting concepts are going to be off-putting to some for this simple reason. She is going against the grain. And so if you're easily offended, perhaps this isn't the book for you. But if you're brave enough to fight the easy path for the sake of your children, then I dare you to check out this book.

Husband and I will be going through Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World together as a devotional soon. I got so much out of this book that I can't wait to discuss it with him together. This is a book that I feel like every parent needs to read (or listen to). Yet I know it won't be one that always inspires the same level of excitement and possibility as it did for me. Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World gets 5 Stars from me. This is my first 5 Star rating for 2022. Have you read Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World? What did you think? Let me know!

The Whole-Brain Child - Review

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive (Hanger's Horsemen, # 2)

By: Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

Publication: October 4th 2011 by Delacorte Press

192 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Parenting, Self-Help

Source: Personal Kindle Library

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Goodreads description--Your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of a store. Your preschooler refuses to get dressed. Your fifth-grader sulks on the bench instead of playing on the field. Do children conspire to make their parents’ lives endlessly challenging? No—it’s just their developing brain calling the shots!

In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson demystify the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids can seem—and feel—so out of control. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Raise calmer, happier children using twelve key strategies, including

• Name It to Tame It: Corral raging right-brain behavior through left-brain storytelling, appealing to the left brain’s affinity for words and reasoning to calm emotional storms and bodily tension.
• Engage, Don’t Enrage: Keep your child thinking and listening, instead of purely reacting.
• Move It or Lose It: Use physical activities to shift your child’s emotional state.
• Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Guide your children when they are stuck on a negative emotion, and help them understand that feelings come and go.
• SIFT: Help children pay attention to the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts within them so that they can make better decisions and be more flexible.
• Connect Through Conflict: Use discord to encourage empathy and greater social success.

Complete with clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.

Parenting is hard. One of, if not the, hardest things I've ever done. Molding a human being is tough. Teaching them. Instructing them. Guiding them. Saying "no" is hard. And then dealing with the fallout is hard. And some children are easier than others. But all of them struggle just as we adults and parents struggle. One thing I realized is that I literally know nothing about brain or child development. My parenting strategies have mostly been to mimic what I remember my parents doing when I was a child. Only that didn't seem to be working as well as I hoped. And when something isn't working, I go into research mode. I've found some sources that have been helpful, and those sources also recommended this book.

The Whole-Brain Child offers a lot of practical ways to help your children. I was feeling a little frustrated when I got to the end of the book because I didn't see these practical ways, but there's a section at the end of the text that goes more specifically into each age range with practical tips. This is what I was looking for.

I feel like The Whole-Brain Child was packed with information. Good information. Scientifically researched information. But for me, I find that the first time I'm exposed to a topic, the information might not soak in so well. So I definitely think I could benefit from re-reading The Whole-Brain Child. And I have intentions to do just that.

I have already put some things I've learned into practice with my children. And I can see these strategies being helpful. At the same time, I can see that I need more practice to get better at calling these strategies to mind in the moment. Shoot, I actually could use some of these strategies in my own brain for a calmer life.

The Whole-Brain Child gets 4 Stars. It might be worthy of 5 Stars upon a re-read when I absorb more of the information and put it into practice with my kids. So maybe I'll come back and update this review down the road. Until then... Have you read The Whole-Brain Child? What did you think? Let me know!

Encouraging Words for Mothers - Review

Encouraging Words for Mothers: Morning Evening: Daily Devotions for a Mother's Soul

By: Michelle Medlock Adams

Publication: August 1st 2019 by Barbour Books

384 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Christian, Parenting, Devotional

Source: Publisher via NetGalley (Thank you!!)

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Goodreads description--Moms, find wisdom and support when you really need it!

This 365-day morning and evening devotional book is by a mom—award-winning writer Michelle Medlock Adams—for moms. Especially for women with children still at home, Encouraging Words for Mothers offers brief, relevant, and biblical reflections with monthly themes such as worry, unconditional love, discipline, and praying. Each will show you how scripture applies to your everyday life—and equip you to be the best mom you can be.

Encouraging Words for Mothers is a 365 day devotional. I've learned that devotional intended to cover an entire year aren't my favorite. Even if each day's devotional is short, I often lose interest before the year is complete. And that was sort of the case for me with Encouraging Words for Mothers.

This devotional does have short devotions. It is designed for one a day and is split into a section to be read in the morning and one in the evening. Both are short enough that reading them at the same time made the most sense to me. There is a verse for the day/topic and a short prayer. Normally, I prefer a little more meat to my devotions. I prefer deep topics that make me think, but in this season of life with 3 kids 5 and under, short and sweet hits the spot. I feel like this devotional is especially geared towards mothers with very young children. Life is just so busy with taking care of the needs of others that even this short devotional should be fine to work into a daily schedule.

For me though, I knew I was reviewing this book and I really didn't need to take a year to do so. Thus I would read as large of a section of devotionals at a time that I felt I could before putting it down for the day. Doing this, however, led me to fatigue and I ended up putting the entire devotional down for an extended period.

I always take issue with books that use paraphrase translations of the Bible. Particularly, The Message translation is a pet peeve of mine. I personally use literal translations. I've talked about this on my blog enough that I won't get into much detail about it here in this review. Even if the intent of the author was only to use this translation as a supplement to their own study, it can give the unknowing reader the idea that the translation is a great option for their personal study Bible if they're looking for one.

The author discusses a few things that I didn't 100% agree with. I never expect to agree with anyone else 100% of the time though. I do know the topic of spanking will be an issue for some readers. Just be aware of that going into the book and you won't be surprised.

Encouraging Words for Mothers is a great devotional for the busy Mom. I especially think this one is good and applicable for the Mother of very young children, like myself. It isn't too deep in terms of content, but sometimes that isn't the season of life that you're in. Paraphrased translations of the Bible were often used which is a pet peeve of mine. Encouraging Words for Mothers gets 3.5 Stars. Have you read Encouraging Words for Mothers ? What did you think? Let me know!

Boundaries with Kids - Review

Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children

By: Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Publication: November 1st 2001 by Zondervan

224 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Self-Help, Parenting, Christian, Psychology

Source: Personal Kindle Library

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Goodreads description--Keys for establishing healthy boundaries--the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for children and adults.

To help their children grow into healthy adults, parents need to teach them how to take responsibility for their behavior, their values, and their lives. The authors of the Gold Medallion Award-winning book Boundaries bring their biblically-based principles to bear on the challenging task of child rearing, showing parents:
* how to bring control to an out-of-control family life
* how to set limits and still be loving parents
* how to define legitimate boundaries for the family
* how to instill in children a godly character

I read Boundaries 6 or 7 years ago and rated it 5 Stars. It was so good that I think every human being should read it. And that's exactly how I felt about Boundaries with Kids! 5 bazillion stars!!!! And every parent, teacher, grandparent, every person who is around children in an authority position. Really just everyone.

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend take biblical principals like reaping what we sow, honesty, and love first. As a matter of fact, the doctors' constant push to keep love and empathy first was a huge plus for me. Everything about being a parent, raising your child, and disciplining is about the love we have for our children. I think so many parents have trouble setting boundaries because we love our children, but the way the doctors present the importance of setting boundaries shows just how loving it is to do this for your children.

The doctors often mention that consequences of setting boundaries for children are much less than when our children grow up without having boundaries and they have trouble with marriages or careers when they're adults. When you're looking at the big picture, the long term effects, setting boundaries is essential. And from what I can tell it is largely missing from entire generations and this isn't getting any better. Which makes the need for parents to read this book even more important.

You guys I highlighted 392 times in this 224-page book. I couldn't share my favorite quotes with you guys if I wanted to. But perhaps one of the biggest compliments that I can give this book is that I plan to turn around and re-read this book and potentially re-read it several times over the next eighteen years. I enjoyed reading Boundaries with Kids because I was excited about the changes I could implement in my parenting to improve my relationship with my child (my daughter is 3 and my son is 1 so we're not too much into parenting difficulties with him...but we'll get there). I wanted to return to this book if I needed to put it down. And I couldn't stop talking about it to everyone in my real life--even people who don't have kids or are now grandparents and not currently raising their own kids.

I wish so much that I could give you guys a proper review of this book. I plan to give it as a gift to all of my friends as each of them becomes a parent. I'm going to push Boundaries with Kids on anyone who is willing. This book deserves all the stars I can give it. A hearty, enthusiastic, re-readable 5 Star book! Have you read Boundaries with Kids? What did you think? Let me know!

The 5 Love Languages of Children - Review

The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively

By: Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell

Published: May 1st 2016 by Northfield Publishing (first published May 28th 1995)

224 pages

Genre: Nonfiction, Parenting, Christian, Self-Help

Source: Publisher via NetGalley (Thank you!!)

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Goodreads description--More than 1 million sold! You know you love your child. But how can you show it so they really feel loved? The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages® has helped millions of couples learn the secret to building a love that lasts. Now discover how to speak your child’s love language and make them feel loved in a way they understand. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell help you:

Discover your child’s love language
Understand the link between successful learning and the love languages
See how the love languages can help you discipline more effectively
Build a foundation of unconditional love for your child

Plus: Find dozens of tips for practical ways to speak your child’s love language. Discover your child's primary language, then speak it, and you will be on your way to a stronger relationship and seeing your child flourish.

For a free online study guide, visit 5lovelanguages.com

My parents introduced me to The Five Love Languages when I was still a teenager. It was instantly intrigued by the idea of five different ways that people show and receive love. So when the opportunity came up to read The Five Love Languages of Children I was excited to pick it up since I've become a mother. The idea of loving my child in the best ways possible was easily something that I wanted to learn more about.

It has been at least ten years since I read The Five Love Languages; however, I didn't find The Five Love Languages of Children to be too terribly different. The love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts) are the same. From what I could tell, the examples surrounded the love languages were obviously geared toward parents and children. Also, there were sections devoted to parenting philosophy and the nature of children whereas the original book focused more on the spouse and romantic love relationships. But overall, I feel like you could probably get away with reading one of these books and applying the concepts to both sets of relationships (or any relationship really).

That being said, I still really enjoyed The Five Love Languages of Children and I read it quite quickly given the amount of time I have to read these days. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell had plenty of good and wise things to say about raising children and I highlighted up a storm.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

-Speaking your child's primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope...

-Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does.

-Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them.

-Affection and love mean expressing appreciation for the very being of a child, for those characteristics and abilities that are part of the total package of the person. In contrast, we express praise for what the child does, either in achievements or behavior or conscious attitudes.

-...much childhood misbehavior is an attempt to get more time with Mom or Dad.

-Don't let your demonstration of love to a child be controlled by whether the child is pleasing you at the moment.

-Your children need to see in you the traits you want them to develop.

-Discipline comes from a Greek word that means "to train." Discipline involves the long and vigilant task of guiding a child from infancy to adulthood. The goal is that the child would reach a level of maturity that will allow him one day to function as a responsible adult in society.

-Love looks out for the interest of another; so does discipline.

-Practice unconditional love; then discipline.

-Raising children always requires more time than you expected.

Personally, I really enjoyed the section dedicated to discipline. The authors address that discipline and punishment aren't synonymous. While I without a doubt knew that both of my parents loved me I definitely grew up in a household where punishment was the main form of discipline. It wasn't always about training me in the direction that I needed to go so much as punishing me for the not going the direction I should. Or it felt that way at the time. Anyway, I won't go into all of that here, but I enjoyed the authors spending time on this subject and really enforcing that a child should be loved and feel loved unconditionally no matter how unappealing their behavior might be.

The Five Love Languages of Children gets 4 Stars from me. It's an information packed book with easy concepts to implement into your daily life in hopes that your children will feel more loved. I do think that this is a book that you might continually need to come back to and re-read for a refresher every once and a while. Have you read The Five Love Languages of Children? What did you think? Let me know!

A Comparison Review - The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding & Babywise

On Becoming Babywise

By: Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam

Published: September 28th 2006 by Hawksflight & Assoc Inc (first published February 1993)

252 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Parenting, Self-Help

Source: Personal Kindle Library

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Goodreads description--The infant management concepts presented in this book have found favor with over two million parents and twice as many contented babies. On Becoming Babywise brings hope to the tired and bewildered parents looking for an alternative to sleepless nights and fussy babies. The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond to any need at any time. It teaches parents how to lovingly guide their baby's day rather than be guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs.

The information contained within On Becoming Babywise is loaded with success. Comprehensive breast-feeding follow-up surveys spanning three countries, of mothers using the PDF method verify that as a result of the PDF concepts, 88% breast-feed, compared to the national average of only 54% (from the National Center for Health Statistics). Of these breast-feeding mothers, 80% of them breast-feed exclusively without a formula complement. And while 70% of our mothers are still breast-feeding after six months, the national average encourage to follow demand feeding without any guidelines is only 20%. The mean average time of breast-feeding for PDF moms is 33 1/2 weeks, well above the national average. Over 50% of PDF mothers extend their breast-feeding toward and well into the first year. Added to these statistics is another critical factor. The average breast-fed PDF baby sleeps continuously through night seven to eight hours between weeks seven and nine. Healthy sleep in infants is analogous to healthy growth and development. Find out for yourself why a world of parents and pediatricians utilize the concepts found in On Becoming Babywise.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

By: La Leche League International

Published: July 13th 2010 by Ballantine Books (first published September 1958)

576 pages

Genre: Non-fiction, Parenting, Self-Help

Source: Personal Kindle Library

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Goodreads description--The long-awaited revised edition!

It’s no secret that breastfeeding is the normal, healthy way to nourish and nurture your baby. Dedicated to supporting nursing and expectant mothers, the internationally respected La Leche League has set the standard for educating and empowering mothers in this natural art for generations. Now their classic bestselling guide has been retooled, refocused, and updated for today’s mothers and lifestyles. Working mothers, stay-at-home moms, single moms, and mothers of multiples will all benefit from the book’s range of nursing advice, stories, and information—from preparing for breastfeeding during pregnancy to feeding cues, from nursing positions to expressing and storing breast milk. With all-new photos and illustrations, this ultimate support bible offers

real-mom wisdom on breastfeeding comfortably—from avoiding sore nipples to simply enjoying the amazing bonding experience

new insights into old approaches toward latching and attaching, ages and stages, and answers to the most-asked questions

strategies for moms who choose to breastfeed for a short time or who plan to nurse for a year or more

reassuring information on nursing after a C-section or delivery complications

recent scientific data that highlight the many lifelong health benefits of breastfeeding

helpful tips for building your support network—at home or when back at work

nursing special-needs infants, premies, multiples, and how to thrive no matter what curveball life throws

guidance on breast health issues, weight gain, day care, colic, postpartum depression, food allergies, and medications

Plus—Internet references for further information, including La Leche League support sites and groups.

Mothers bringing babies into a new world want sustainable, healthy, positive ways to help their children blossom and thrive. There is no better beginning for your baby than the womanly art of breastfeeding.

I've never done a review/post like this before. I was intending to read both of these books and review them separately. But as I was reading them at the same time, I just couldn't figure out how to review them comprehensively without continually referencing the other. They overlap so much. So this review/compare and contrast will include a good bit of my personal motherhood story as well as a review of both books and a comparison and contrasting of the parenting philosophies of both books. This will be more lengthy than normal. Sorry, but I hope you stick with me here.

Also, let me say up front that parenting is an extremely personal experience full of difficult decisions that often don't have right or wrong answers. We often see "mom shaming" because as mothers we all (for the most part) are seeking the best things for our children. But the trouble is that we often disagree on what's best. It is not my intention to imply that any parenting philosophy discussed in this review is better than any other but to only state what philosophies work for me and my family and what doesn't.

I remember asking a cousin when we were both pregnant (her about 30 weeks and me about 18) if she'd read any books on pregnancy/parenting etc. She said the only one she'd read was Babywise because it had been highly recommended to her by a couple of her friends. For some reason the idea of reading about pregnancy and parenting was difficult for me while pregnant. My doctor's office had given me a book to read about pregnancy and I was having a hard enough time getting through that one. So birth came. Baby was born. And boy was I not prepared for the sleepless nights that came with a newborn. I mean you can't really prepare for that. But I feel like I was really unprepared for this aspect of parenting. I knew that I would love my baby--I already did while pregnant. I figured breastfeeding would come natural (it didn't) and sleep training was really the last thing on my mind. At our 2 week visit to the pediatrician, he recommended that I stick to an "aggressive 3 hour feeding schedule" during the day to hopefully get myself 3 or 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. So I started that and I also started nursing in the dark in the bedroom when Baby Girl would wake up in the middle of the night to feed. And by week 3, she did start sleeping 3 or 4 hours at night. I realized that she was just as overtired as I was. And an overtired baby is harder to get to sleep than one that's sleeping well.

Unfortunately, getting her to nap was so difficult because as soon as I laid her down she'd pop right back awake. In order to get her some much needed rest and rest myself, I held her during naps in the recliner where I could nap too. This was great for catching up on some sleep for both of us, but unfortunately it created a horrible habit that we've yet to break (at the time of writing this review). (Update: Baby Girl is both napping during the day and sleeping through the night in her crib at 4 months old.)

Another really important piece of my mothering a newborn story involves breastfeeding. Every single source for breastfeeding information (lactation consultant, websites, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and other breastfeeding mothers) advised me from the very beginning of my breastfeeding journey to "feed on demand". This means that if your baby shows any signs of hunger (rooting, sucking on their hands, or really a desire to suck period, turning their heads from side to side, etc) then this meant that you needed to nurse. And nursing on demand was said to be the only way to maintain an adequate milk supply. Well the first night in the hospital after my little one was born, she wanted to nurse for an entire hour. After we got home, she would have spouts of nursing for 10 minutes, falling asleep, and then waking up in an hour screaming to eat again. Or if I got up from nursing, she would wake up and protest. It seemed that my baby wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME. But don't offer a pacifier the experts say, because this might cause "nipple confusion" which can cause baby to reject the breast. After one particularly rough night where baby nursed so much that she projectile vomited what her little stomach couldn't hold, I knew that "nursing on demand" was not for me. And if that was the only way to maintain my breastfeeding journey with my little one, then surely we wouldn't make it.

Again, the same appointment with our pediatrician that I mentioned above saved my breastfeeding experience. With the same advice to do an "aggressive 3 hour feeding schedule" in order to promote longer sleep stretches at night, he also suggested only nursing 15 minutes on each side for a total of 30 minutes. He told me that nursing for an hour at a time was not necessary. And thank God he did. I had already been struggling with the idea of maintaining breastfeeding, but if my little one needed to eat every hour for an hour at a time...well that's just not something that you can keep up. (It should be said that not only had Baby Girl regained back to her birth weight by this appointment, but she had also exceeded her birth weight. I do advise nursing on demand until Baby regains his/her birth weight.)

While visiting with one of husband's friends from high school who has a baby 2 months older than Baby Girl, she asked me if I always wanted to put Baby Girl on a schedule and I shared with her my story about my visit to our pediatrician. She gave me a look that I wasn't quite sure how to interpret and suggested that I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

I purchased The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding shortly after that visit. Feeding frequency wasn't my only breastfeeding issue, so I hoped the book would be a great source for troubleshooting for me. I will say that up front the authors tell you to take what advice you can from them, and disregard what you don't agree with. They tell you that not everything they discuss will be in alignment with your own thoughts. And almost immediately I realized this to be true for me. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding promotes several ideas that I knew up front that I didn't agree with. For example, co-sleeping, nursing past two years old, and nursing on demand.

I've already said why nursing on demand wasn't for me. Aside from the mental fatigue associated with nursing constantly, I ended up dealing with an oversupply issue. You see, breastfeeding is a supply and demand thing. The more you nurse (demand) the more supply you end up with. And oversupply has issues that are unique but just as challenging as a low supply. (Truthfully, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding almost acts like low supply is the worst and most likely problem a woman can be face with in the breastfeeding journey.) One of the biggest reasons why The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding suggests co-sleeping is so that baby has constant access to nurse during the night. The book even goes so far as to encourage night waking. Every person that I know that allowed their children to co-sleep ended up doing so a really long time. And personally, I would like for my bed to remain a zone for my husband and I only. This isn't a judgment on those who decide to co-sleep. It's just what we've decided is right for us.

At this point, I'm celebrating how far we've come in our breastfeeding journey already. I have no idea how long we'll make it. I have a rough goal of making it to one year, but I will consider anything between six months to a year as a success. But the idea of nursing a two year old is just not something that I've ever entertained. Again, this is not a judgment on those moms who do choose to nurse past a year old. I'm just pointing out that this was another aspect The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding promoted that I knew wasn't for me.

Back to my story, I reached out to a Mommy Support group that I'm a member of on Facebook out of curiosity to see how long other babies slept at 3 months of age, and Babywise was again recommended to me. So I purchased it immediately and finished reading it in like three days--which is a record for a non-fiction book for me I think.

Almost immediately, I began regretting my decision to put off reading Babywise when my cousin originally mentioned it to me. I've learned that I was very unprepared for breastfeeding or for handling a newborn's sleep schedule. And Babywise offers up some great advice that is fairly easy to implement. Babywise fell in line with what I was already doing--enforcing an eat, wake, sleep cycle and sticking to a 3-hour feeding schedule unless Baby Girl showed signs that she truly was hungry and not just wanting to suck for comfort. (Babywise supports a combination of scheduled feedings and feeding on demand when true signs of hunger are shown before time for the next scheduled feeding.)

I was reassured to find that my parenting methods were actually naturally similar to the Babywise strategy. Of my own accord, I'd learned how to merge my baby's feedings from 9 feedings a day to 8 and from 8 to 7 and Baby Girl was already sleeping between 4 and 6 hours a night regularly. But according to the Babywise method, we were slightly behind where we should be (6 feedings a day with 1 dream feeding and 8 hours of sleep a night). I didn't stress about that too much. But Babywise did give me some ideas on how to adjust our schedules moving forward. (Update: I will say that even still, we do not follow the Babywise advised schedule exactly.)

Babywise also reinforced what I already knew--that holding Baby Girl while she naps is not healthy for her or me. I had become a sleep prop for her, and she needed to learn not only how to sleep without me, but also how to go to sleep without being rocked or bounced. Gary Ezzo, co-author and creator of the Babywise strategy, was a father of triplets. He and his wife quickly learned that there is no rocking three babies to sleep at each nap and bedtime. If their babies could survive and thrive without rocking to sleep, so can mine. With renewed determination, I determined to get Baby Girl to nap in her crib with minimal help from me to get to sleep. She already slept pretty good through the night in a cradle beside our bed. Granted, getting her to sleep initially has always been a struggle, but we'd already worked her up to the point of sleeping by herself for the longest stretches of time. So I knew she was capable of it and capable of soothing herself back to sleep if she woke up. I'd just not been enforcing this behavior during the day for naps. Babywise gave me the inspiration, motivation, and confidence to tackle this feat. I will say that I wish there were a few more specific tools explored on how to correct these sleep prop problems. I ended up implementing a strategy of laying Baby Girl down for her nap awake but when I knew she was getting tired/drowsy. If she cried, I waited 2 minutes and then returned to her room to comfort her by patting or rubbing her stomach or head or holding her hand. After calming her, I would leave her room again. If she cried again, I waited 5 minutes and then returned to comfort her and left again. If she cried a third time, I waited 7 minutes (where originally advised to wait 10 minutes) and returned again. I didn't have to go more than 7 minutes with Baby Girl crying. This 2, 5, 7/10 idea didn't originate with me, but it was something I'd seen in the Mommy Support group that I mentioned earlier.

Don't be confused though, Babywise doesn't just cover sleeping and feeding tips. I loved how the very first chapter was spent covering the importance of the parental marriage relationship. I was so impressed as this isn't the direction that most books take. I know that not all parents are married and they address that as well. But this was such a pro for me.

At the same time, I can't say that I 100% agree or support everything that Babywise says. You can tell that maybe some information is either slightly out of date or misinformation, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. Things that specifically come to mind is when "shaking" breast milk to mix the foremilk and hindmilk when preparing a bottle. Breast milk should not be shaken as doing so begins to break it down. There were a few other small things like this, but that's where I'm glad that I've read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

While I don't agree with co-sleeping, toddler nursing, or "feeding on demand", The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is filled with information about breastfeeding that can be invaluable. While all of the information is available online should you need to search for a specific topic or question you might have, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is a great source to give you all the information you might need prior to breastfeeding or even early in your breastfeeding journey. And beyond really as the book has tips for feeding each age range. I'm so glad that I read it and I took away a lot of useful information even if there were aspects that I didn't agree with.

Where I was impressed with Babywise's mention of the marriage relationship which is in-line with my Christian beliefs, I felt the opposite with The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. TWAoB had a more politically correct feeling by alluding to the many different shapes of the family unit these days and also referencing "nature's design" rather than God's. This wasn't a big deal as I don't expect all books to support my beliefs, but it was something I noted. Obviously some readers will love this and others will not. As The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is a book that has been around in some form or other since 1958 yet has been constantly revised and updated, I'd be interested to know what stance previous versions of this book took on "nature" or "design".

I will say that reading the kindle edition of both of these books was great because I could read while I nursed and only had to use one hand to flip pages while my other hand was holding baby. However, the kindle editions for both of these books do not make for easy "quick references" for finding a specific topic or section of the book you might want to reference or re-read. Either the kindle edition or a physical copy would work. Both have pros and cons.

In the end, I found myself almost completely in line with Babywise when it comes to my parenting philosophies as opposed to The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Neither one is wrong, but Babywise fit me better. They both cover breastfeeding and sleeping topics and more. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding has more information surrounding breastfeeding problems, troubleshooting, and solutions. While Babywise focused more on organizing your baby's day. What I found was that if I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for advice on breastfeeding troubleshooting and how-tos then I came away with a lot of positive information. And when I read Babywise for information on parenting philosophy and organizing my child's day, I receivved a lot of positive information. When I got pregnant my mother gave me a piece of advice that her mother had given her. She said, "When you're pregnant everyone wants to give you advice. Some of it you'll agree with and some of it you won't. Take what you think you can use and throw out the rest."

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding gets 4 Stars from me. It's a great breastfeeding resource, but don't think you have to take every piece of advice in that book. And Babywise gets 4.5 Stars from me. When you're sleep deprived and looking for any way to get your child to sleep longer this book is a wealth of information. I highly recommend reading them both (if you choose to breastfeed, and just Babywise if you choose to formula feed) BEFORE you give birth. Have you read Babywise or The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding? If so, what did you think? Let me know!