Midnights With You
By: Clare Osongco
Publication: November 12, 2024 by Disney-Hyperion
368 pages
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Source: Publisher via Edelweiss (Thank you!!)
( Goodreads | Amazon )
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Goodreads description--“Where were you thinking of going?”
“Nowhere.”
“Great,” he says lightly, putting the car in gear. “Then we’ll go there.”
Seventeen-year-old Deedee’s life is full of family ghosts and questions she can’t ask. She longs for an escape, but guilt holds her back—that, and the fact that her strict Filipino single mom won’t let her learn to drive. But one sleepless night leads Deedee down a road she never thought possible: secret driving lessons with the new boy next door, Jay, whose turbulent family life also keeps him up until sunrise.
As midnights stretch into days, Jay helps Deedee begin to unravel her past, and as shared secrets blossom into love, Deedee starts to imagine a life where happiness is possible. But the deeper she digs into the trauma that has shaped her, the more that trauma threatens to tear Deedee and Jay apart. Together, these two must decide if the pain they’ve both inherited has the power to choose their fate, or if they have the power to choose for themselves.
Man oh man! What do I say about Midnights with You? I needed a genre change after reading several fantasy books in a row. But I also wanted something that would hook my attention quickly. I've picked up and put down so many books lately. They're all ones I want to read, but I just haven't felt hooked on any characters quickly. And to be honest, Midnights with You didn't hook me too quickly either. The book starts with Deedee's mom berating her. And I wasn't sure I was in the head-space for this kind of book. And really, Midnights with You ended up being an incredibly complex book.
Deedee's mom has anger issues. And she talks to Deedee so horribly. I mean it's abusive really. The things that she says have affected Deedee deeply. She's begun to think that she's broken, flawed, toxic, unlovable. Her mother refuses to talk about her extended family. And Deedee's dad died several years ago. Since then, Deedee has pretty much no one. She does have one friend at school, bless Suzy's heart. But Deedee doesn't know how to share with Suzy how bad things are at home. And her mom always puts on a front. Deedee is mostly just incredibly sad. All the time. She gets the itch to find out what her mother is hiding. Her extended family. Why she doesn't allow Deedee to do anything because she's scared of her getting hurt, yet her mother's words are often what hurts her the most. And she also begins to feel a little bit rebellious. That leads her to the desire to learn to drive.
Jay is the boy next door, and his family is struggling also. His parents have divorced, and they moved. His older sister is away at college. And he's working to help fill in financially and fill the fatherly role for his younger sister as much as possible. His mom depends on him a lot. And while she's not quite as mean constantly as Deedee's mom, Jay's mom can say some pretty hurtful things to him as well. Deedee runs into Jay late at night and they go for a drive. In the end, she asks him if he'll teach her how to drive. But then she backs out. They end up making a deal where she will tutor him in English and history (two subjects he's not doing so hot in) if he will teach her how to drive.
Of course, Deedee and Jay develop feelings for each other. And this is where the rollercoaster ride begins. Deedee and Jay are both screwed up mentally. And that doesn't make for the healthiest relationship. These two were so hot and cold, on and off, fast and slow. This book was a trainwreck in the best possible way. I couldn't look away. I ended up reading until 1 am one night and forced myself to put this book down at 80% knowing it would take me at least another hour to finish it. Even then I couldn't go to sleep. And I don't normally enjoy "coming of age" stories.
There was something so relatable to me about this story. All of the characters. Even as scary as it sounds, the terrible mother and the partially terrible one. Since becoming a mother, I find it much easier to relate to the mothers in books. And even though, I can say that I don't treat my kids like Deedee's mom, I know I've slipped up and said hurtful things to my kids. I've behaved in ways that I've had to apologize for. All of this story was heartbreaking.
Favorite quotes:
-She's given me a good life, and I'm grateful. And the way she treats me hurts, too. Both things are true.
-"You know how they say, your trauma isn't your fault, but it's your responsibility?"
-You did a bad thing and you can learn from it. You can know why you did it. You can work on it. You can be different. You can change, because you want to change.
-"Maybe if you change the way you think about the past," I say, voice hard-edged, "you'll be able to make some different decisions. Today, tomorrow, the day after. Maybe if you could tell yourself you didn't deserve it, you would see I don't deserve this, either."
-"Some of the things you do make more sense to me now," I swallow hard as she picks up the letter and slowly opens it with trembling hands. "But some of the things you do aren't okay."
"Coming of age" really is the best description for Midnights with You. It's about growing up, first love, generational curses, depression, anger, and so much more. I didn't quite cry while reading this, and I didn't always "like" this book, but sheesh, it gave me so much to contemplate. It was incredibly complex and well done overall. Midnights with You gets 4 Stars. Have you read Midnights with You? What did you think? Let me know!
